January of this year I decided to keep a journal of the good things that happened each day as a way to look at life more positively. It was a happiness journal if you will! For about a month or two, I really enjoyed coming home every day to reflect on what had happened that day – who’d I’d hung out with and what I had done. I look back on it and read about little bits of my days that I otherwise wouldn’t have remembered! It’s a really cool way of recording memories because I get to read it back in my own words rather than look at an edited picture on Instagram or Facebook. In saying that, I haven’t written in it for a while. And that’s not because life hasn’t been a treat, I’ve actually been having some of the best days recently! It is because I started to rely on coming home to write about my day – regardless of whether it was actually a good day or not.
It wasn’t until the beginning of March that I hit a bit of a rough patch. I found myself struggling to write anything positive about my day. In fact, one of the days – I found myself slightly enhancing a situation to make it seem more positive. Why the heck would I do that?! It’s not like social media, where other people judge and form opinions. It was just me. So why did I almost lie about my day? I started to get really pissed off when I didn’t have anything to write. I felt like I was being negative and not appreciating what I had. In reality, some of those days I had been to work all day, dealt with some maybe not so nice customers, and come home. Nothing bad had happened, but nothing amazing had happened either. I began looking at completely normal days as bad days, because I didn’t have an exciting story to write.
Happiness and gratitude journals are great in many ways. I mean obviously if you wake up in the morning you are lucky. If you have a job to go to then you are more blessed than most. But damn, bad days are gonna come probably more often than you’d think. I shouldn’t have to write down everything positive about the last 24 hours just to feel like I’d had a good day. And just because I didn’t get surprised with Justin Bieber tickets again, doesn’t make it a bad day either.
There seems to have been this big movement over the past couple of years of being happy 24/7! Being a positive little ray of sunshine and lifting others around you up! Don’t get me wrong, I love this mentality and often preach being positive and spreading love but along with this has come a lot of pressure. People who make a living out of showing there lives, and being a social influencer have an image to maintain. Unfortunately, an anxious messy bun wearing pyjama lady probably doesn’t fit the aesthetic. Even though no one else was reading it, I wanted to come up with something, anything positive to remember about that day. I couldn’t leave a page blank now could I?!
I think going forward, I’m going to try to be more in the moment. If I put down the social media, and be present in each moment – the memories should form themselves. Rather than thinking of what I will write in my happiness journal, I will just look at the day and think “this is a good day”. Happiness isn’t something I should have to prove to myself, it’s something that can be a part of any day. And if it’s not a good day, that’s alright – it’s only 24 hours long.
I hope you enjoyed reading this rambling, I just felt like it was something I had to get off my chest!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Love, Lyd x