Ever since I was young, I have looked at those around me and compared myself to them. I know that everything looks different from an outside point of view, and their lives aren’t as perfect as they seem. However, I still have those thoughts that make me feel like I don’t measure up. Comparison is the thief of joy, dreams and aspirations. The moment we compare ourselves to someone else, and make ourselves the inferior of the two – we effectively take ourselves out of the game. Comparing ourselves to others around us can magnify any doubt we have in ourselves that we otherwise would have brushed off.
Now, obviously comparison isn’t reserved for millenials. However in the age of social media we have access to more “perfect” ideals. Scrolling through Instagram and Facebook all day means we are exposed to thousands of contrived images of perfection and comments that either offend us or make us feel less important.
When at uni this year I noticed how much we all talked about grades others got. How others were writing their assignments. Even how many words we were all writing for our final project. If someone asked my group how much we’d written, we always got met with gasps. We wrote a LOT. But writing a lot doesn’t mean a better grade, so when other groups suddenly started frantically adding content it made me think that they had compared their assignment to ours. Why? We were two different groups writing two different projects. Comparison made us all doubt what we were proud of a few seconds ago!
It’s the same in anything we do as humans. Whether it’s how we dress, how many friends we have, how often we go out – our self worth seems to depend more and more on what others around us are doing. How sad is that. As I’ve entered my 20’s, I’ve become aware of other ways we compare ourselves to others. It used to be clothes we wore and how many boys we’d kissed, now it seems to be job titles, who’s getting married first and who earns the most money.
We need to remember that just because someone else has a great life, doesn’t mean that we can’t. Someone else’s ability to get a job doesn’t affect our ability. Someone else’s successes don’t take away our opportunities. We have to start looking at ourselves as individuals instead of putting ourselves in a group with others to compete with. Celebrate other people’s wins and focus on your own goals and achievements! We are all going to do amazing things at different points in our lives. Being in our 20’s just so happens to feel like the time we need to do it all.
I hope this inspired at least one of you to stop comparing yourself to others! Cause you’re pretty cool how you are.
As always, love Lyd x